Sunday, August 12, 2012


‘When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. When you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.’
– Tibetan Buddhist saying
Death is a weird word and a weird experience to go through, when you hear the words' I’m sorry they have passed away' our mind tells us we should psychologically act in a certain way, we should cry, we should be down. The truth is we will have ups and downs, some days we will feel a certain way and other days we will have other emotions. I guess in a way its all part of the learning process that we face that determines our strength and weaknesses.

 If we are being brutally honest within our selves we are never 'prepared' for tragedy or pain, we aren't programmed to react a certain way when we hear something, emotions take over and run wild and soon we are sat in a puddle of our own tears. We question why that person left what made them disappear why god chose them and why now? Was there something you missed or something you could have done? Reality is we will never know. We will never know what went through their minds in those last few moments. 

It’s hard to imagine that one moment some one is visible in your life and the next minute they are not. As hard as it is, life is such a thing that nothing beautiful lasts forever. When you get these things you don't think of their 'use by date' you appreciate what they are for that moment in time. Obviously I know that its much harder when its a person you miss everything about them, their laugh, their smile, their eyes and in general just the presence they have in your life. Its also a shock as you always go back to the beginning and over play every second every moment you spent and shared with them and wonder why you wont get another time. 

We spend so much time wasting our emotions on little things that have no meaning in the world instead of focusing on the big picture. Life is so short that we don't often say the words in our hearts and mean them. We live to continue to put ourselves through various emotions and take people for granted. We are being mature when we say we know that people have to go in their time and yes we have to learn to deal with it no matter how long it takes. Instead of focusing on the emotional roller coaster lets celebrate their life. We were fortunate to know them for the special time we shared with them. We were fortunate enough to have them grace our lives with their wonderful presence. 

Life is too short to not make those around know how much they mean to you, life is too short for 'tomorrow' life is too short to be down and constantly wondering when it will get better. Life is too short to not smile, 

I believe in after life I believe my dear friend is looking over us dressed is his attire being like '' hey buddy don't be sad I just had to go' no doubt I think he is chilling and playing poker with jimmy Hendrix, Heath Ledger, John Lennon and probably trying it on with some of the cool babes out there and is continuing his journey above. He will never be forgotten, as his birthday approaches every year celebrations will take place all over the globe as that is how many lives he touched. 

You never know when and where and why people are taken from us, but they are and we can’t change that and one thing is for certain that its probably not making them happy by seeing us so sad. So we have to think about the good times the memories and know that they are still around us in different ways and we will never ever feel short of their presence. If some one is physically gone they will never be mentally or emotionally erased from our memories. They will live on and we will continue to thank god for each day we spend on this earth and each day we shared with them…

‘Everywhere I go

Every smile I see

I know you are there

Smilin' back at me

Dancin' in moonlight

I know you are free

Cuz' I can see your star

Shinin' down on me’

Happy 30th Birthday Buddy. RIP love always, always in my thoughts. xxxxxxx

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Happy with what I have or What you have?

How many people do you know who are genuinely happy for you?? You think when you tell people of something good that is happening in your life, that they're happy for you. Yes, maybe on the surface they are, they nod and smile and say the words "I’m so happy for you." But majority of the time there are very few people who GENIUNLY mean that. Most of the time they feel that sudden pang of jealousy and they begin to question "why them and not me" "when will it be my turn," and "why are they ahead of me"

The truth is we are all human and unfortunately these emotions and feelings are a part of who we are. Its how well you control them which is the tough part. Like I said in my previous post, you can know someone all your life, but that doesn’t mean that they will share your happiness so joyfully. Hell, there is jealousy between siblings so why would it be any different between friends?

Something good happens to your friend, whether it be a career change, an engagement announcement or just the fact that everything in their life seems blissful and perfect and there you have it, the un nerving comparison takes over and you begin to question why god is punishing you and when will it be your time. Its very easy to sit there and think when will it be me, when is it my turn, but do you ever stop and think,what the good things are in your life? Its very easy to forget about what you have and want what some one else has.

Just because it hasn’t happened to you yet, doesn’t mean it wont. May be it will just take longer to get there. Or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be for you. Sure its annoying as hell when you realize someone is better then you at something, or they are ahead of you and your lagging behind. At that point you begin to get impatient which eventually turns into jealousy and then your at the point where you can no longer hear about others peoples joy because all you keep thinking is ‘stop rubbing it my face’

Life is full of un-nerving comparisons, men get head stong and arrogant and woman get bitchy and well..weird. Who cares. Jealousy is something that can be seen and is written all over your face its the unattractive quality that slowly makes people or your 'friends' step away from you till your no longer needed in their life. It will eat away at you till all you do is moan and moan about how imperfect your life is. Its tiring and the type of negativity that people dont want to be surrounded by.

You assume your friend who got the big house the big car the big holidays is the luckiest girl in the world. maybe she is, or maybe all the materialistic things don't weigh upto the amount of hurt and unhappiness she's feeling. Where as you may not have all the materialistic things but your surrounded by so much love and happiness which you choose to ignore because you cant go out and buy a car at the drop of a hat.

Its always easy to ask, why is it not me and very easy to forget whats good about you and what you have. If your constantly making comparisons between you and the next person then it will start to define who you are and slowly negativity will eat you away and the way i see it is..

"Don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind" ADIDAS.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Know me? Know me not?

A lot of people throughout your life will claim they know you very well. Especially the ones that grew up with you will say they know you the best. They have became a daily fixture in your life. Starting from days, which turns into months and eventually years.
But let me ask you one thing, do these people know you better then you know yourself?
People always say “I have so many friends,” but do you really?
Throughout your life you meet people along the way and most of them are acquaintances and some are friends and those friends will stick by you no matter what. They will always be there for you and appreciate you for who you are.

I don’t believe that these people have to know you throughout your whole life, some come into your life a lot later then expected and the bond between you is so strong that you instantly feel that warm connection and its as though you’ve know them an entire life time.

Sometimes we spend so much time with someone and claim that we know their exact thoughts, feelings and actions that we mis-interpretate the truth behind it. We psychologically embed a thought into their head such as ”you must be feeling like this.’ or “you acted like that” and because it makes sense to us, they believe it too.

Another term used loosely is ‘best friend’ what defines a best friend? I mean what does that word even mean?! If you have known someone since you were born, lived next door to them, went to the same school, went on holiday with them, does that make them your “BFF.” People often confuse length of time with realistic friendship and so therefore your friendship becomes a habit and a convenience to your everyday life.

I find that I have a lot of close friends, some closer then others, some know all of me and some know a part of me. Some who understand all parts of me and some who think they understand me. I think the biggest part of growing up is about the people you meet. Sometimes you don’t need to speak to your friends’ everyday but you know when you do, nothing has changed. As we grow up, we take different paths. Work and personal commitments means you may have less time to physically see your friends and mentally don’t have the capacity to switch on into ‘friend mode’ but that doesn’t mean you don’t care or you don’t want to see them. If you can pick up the phone after a long period of time and feel like you only saw that person yesterday then you know it’s a genuine friendship and that’s the beauty of it. That’s when you know someone knows you.

“To know someone is knowing yourself.
To know yourself is to know who you are,
Without knowing who you are,
No one will ever know you."

Sunday, May 1, 2011


If you know me and your reading this you are probably wondering why I've called it Reirae and not after my own name. The truth is, I believe we all have different sides that make us a whole person and this is just one way of expressing a side whilst still having a mystery about me.
The purpose of this blog is not to tell you the correct way to think about your life, but just somewhere I can place my thoughts and share them.

The idea of this blog was actually a friend’s idea. A good friend of mine recently started feeling depressed about his job and if and when he would reach the goals he set himself. I told myself I didn't think he was depressed it was just his was of thinking...

"If you think negative, negative will happen, if you think positive, positive will happen."

Wondering whether I could help, I decided to send him a positive quote every morning before he went to work. Through doing this I wanted to help him look on the brighter side and gain a positive outlook on his future prospects and life ahead.

Another extremely close friend of mine recently went through depression. It may be hard for me to understand having not gone through it myself but I do believe in having a positive outlook on life. Through sending them both 'words of wisdom'... ReiRae was born.

REI-Japanese name that means lovely
RAE-female form of RAY that means advice and decision.

Through researching names that best suited my blog, I came across Ayanna, which means beautiful beginning. When starting something new whether it be a new relationship, a new job or moving into a new chapter in life the start of anything is viewed as scary. Why I ask myself?
If you approach a situation filled with uncertainty and doubt then nothing can ever be achieved. If you illustrate that doubt and fear then it will only reflect and people will use that to your disadvantage. I'm not saying that new things aren't different and change isn't scary, but take a step back and know that you are about to embark on something amazing, your experience is your experience and what you make of it. If you don't believe in yourself no one will, if you alone doubt yourself so will everyone. We are our greatest critics and masters and only we know how to train ourselves emotionally and mentally.

I always say and do believe that if something does happen, there must be some good in it, if that wasn’t your chosen path then embrace the new, why are we so afraid of taking new risks?? Is it because we are stuck with what we think is expected from us and what society believes is more "acceptable" or just pure anxiety of failing?
What life holds for us we cannot predict, but if there is something you want to do, then do it. My dad always says "if you want to be something, and then become something"

If your going to start something make it beautiful... make it your "Ayanna."